fuck your aforementioned shoe
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dick very happy bro
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
