Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
