Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
