called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
