thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
