I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
