I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
