super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
