Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
