i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
