I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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