Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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