Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
