They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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