Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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