So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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