I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
