erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
