Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
