i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
