I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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