was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
