Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
