When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
