I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
