He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
