My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
