Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
