oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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