do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
