im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
