the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
