I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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