every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
