It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
