i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
