don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
