what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize