i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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