What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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