Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
