Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
