does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
