He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize