For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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