Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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