Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize