Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
