Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
