If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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