i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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